Kevin Mannix courts Anarchists for his '06 run

Uber Republican Kevin Mannix is getting his ducks in a row to challenge Oregon's current Governor Ted Kulongoski in '06.  First he's got to pay off over a half million dollars of campaign debt left over from the '02 race along with building up the right wing of the Oregon Republican party.  At a right wing bloggers convention in Grants Pass last week, he told the three bloggers attending that he represented the "Republican wing of the Republican party."  They cheered and immediately blogged about Mannix's comments.

He also announced at the convention that he plans on forming a coalition with Oregon's anarchists because he believes that their numbers might just be enough to put him over the top.  He narrowly lost to Kulongoski in '02.  When one blogger raised his eyebrow Mannix directed them to this website where they discovered "Anarchists for Bush." 

The bloggers got excited and asked Mannix how he plans on building the right-wing Republican/Anarchist coalition.  He said he hadn't gotten that far in his plan yet, but would mull over some ideas and would appreciate any input the bloggers had.  One blogger suggested they go to Seattle and convince the anarchists there to move to Oregon to ensure solid numbers.  Mannix thought it was a brilliant idea and asked the bloggers to go to Seattle and embed themselves with the anarchists.  He reassured them that he would cover all their travel and living expenses.

When local Portland anarchists were asked about Kevin Mannix's plan to form a coalition with them for the '06 election, they looked at the reporters like they were idiots and said, "Anarchy means no government, so why would we vote in elections that are there to uphold government, you #%&# sleaze-ball corporate reporters!"  They proceeded to pull out an American flag and burn it while chanting, "Kevin Mannix can shove this burning flag up his ass!"

At a press conference yesterday Mannix was asked about the anarchists response to his desire to form a coalition with them.  He said he would not be deterred, but admitted that they would be a tough nut to crack.  He plans on meeting with the local anarchist community next week, although he's having trouble figuring out who their leader is.

;-)

Comments

[anish]

In related news, Kevin Mannix claimed that he was Emma Goldman reincarnated. This, he said, should make him one of the Anarchists. He claimed that he held the same views as in his previous birth except for womens rights, workers rights, free love, free universal education, and free speech (http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/goldman/peopleevents/p_goldman.html).
He urged the Anarchist community of Oregon to vote for one of their own -- him ... or her ... or it ... or whatever.

He further explained that not only does he want to unite the Anarchist and Republicans of Oregon but also the Libertarians. He is going to form a new party called -- Liberanarpublican. The new party will implement a common minimal program -- get rid of the government and all taxes. Flag-burning would be required before any party meeting or event, followed by chants of 'U-S-A'. Black would be the official dress code along with a ski-mask or a handkerchief covering most of the face. As to the potentially conflicting views on bible-thumping, tax-free pot-smoking, tax-free prostitution, property rights, capitalism, corruption, authority of the church/clergy/minister (a.k.a. local -- child-molester, thug, hypocrite, mafia, racketeer), Mannix said that all these issues would be settled WWE SmackDown style, to be shown live on Fox hosted by Hulk Hogan and Akebono.

[Carla]

I wish the Republicans in the rest of the country were as gleefully inept at politics as Kevin Mannix. LOL

[Sid]

Anish-

LOL! I can't top that one, but I'm glad I got you started.

[Troy]

One day in the distant future, you libs might get a clue to how the world works! The conservatives are the people that built this country and protect it from the weakening clutches of people that think that gov control of the health system will help its strife.. The war in the east is fought to keep it out of the west.
Anarchist? Gee, do you really think they give a shit about who runs for gov or pres!!! They are against government rules and laws remember..

[Sid]

Troy-
Looks like you don't know the meaning of APRIL 1st. But then again it's tough for conservtives to get a joke.